he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
