But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
