sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
