I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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