My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Someone shattered a urinal.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
