lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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