Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
