We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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