i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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