it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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