I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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