I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
