A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
