I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
