Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
