dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
