Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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