I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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