please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
