she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
