Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
