If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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