Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i just sent this text using only my big toe
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
