i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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