By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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