thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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