ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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