But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
