Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
