She's JV to your varsity
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
