I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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