Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
