So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
