you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
