Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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