i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
