i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
no you cant smoke seaweed
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
