I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i just made my gag reflex go away.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize
