Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
