Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
whose parrot is this?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
