can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Randomize
