Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
