Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
