I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
