Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You've changed since you got that strap on
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
