yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
