Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
