Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
