just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
