does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
