just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
