Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
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