Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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