My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
pop tarts are not kleenex
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
