I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
