i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
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