its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
